I Still Do

IMG_2340There is a picture in our room that reads:

“Marriage is a bouquet of beautiful moments.”

Yes and no.

Enter a 19 year-old- naïve, idealistic, romantic.

Now don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t one of those girls belting out, “Someday My Prince Will Come”, into my hairbrush, twirling around with a dreamy far off look in my eyes. In fact, I wasn’t looking for my prince at all. Then all of a sudden-SHABAM! – there I was saying “I do”.  Those two words meant something I could never have comprehended that sultry day in May, 20 years ago.

You see, those simple words pack a punch. Things come at you that you’d never dream or expect, both good and bad, while you are still standing there with rice in your hair.

They say the honeymoon period lasts a year, ours might have lasted a few hours. Yep. Remember, I am a hard headed, often opinionated woman who resisted the ideas of mutual respect and honor from the get go. Yes, I knew that was what I was supposed to do, but yeah, I guess I’m not good at conforming.

Enter a 28 year old- mama of 3 under six years of age. Craaaazy busy time- heavy on the crazy!

As we approached our 10th year of marriage, I looked around and thought, “I think I have the hang of this wife thing.”

Yes and no.

You see, the hubby and I have this little joke that I am more of a fighter than a lover. (Which isn’t REALLY so much of a joke- ahem.) I like a good tussle now and then, but sheesh, sometimes it seemed like we could not go a week without a major issue. Call it sleep deprivation or whatever. I was hyper sensitive, a wee bit of an attention hog and just plain difficult at moments. With 3 kids in tow, the stress of maintaining a marriage was overwhelming- a demand that I answered often in a dutiful way.

Pause the scene. Here I will interject a bit about sex. If you are reading this and under the age of 18- you were warned.

{Sex is an integral part of what makes a marriage strong. Excluding any physical limitations, it should be practiced liberally, honestly, passionately and selflessly. Just like every other part of marriage, it is an always evolving process that will morph throughout the seasons of life. But, it is in all honesty, the intimacy building  glue that keeps the other aspects of marriage fit together securely.}

OK. Back to marriage. And duty. I was plodding through the moments, savoring some, hating others. Those intense years of birthing babies, nursing, potty training, toddler training and the beginnings of home schooling left me depleted- mentally and physically. The poor hubby often got my leftovers, which were a bit cold, stale and frankly probably a bit “unappetizing”.

But he loved me anyways. I loved him back. We carried on. Committed, forging ahead. Confident of more sane years ahead.

Holy Schmoly… were we in for some surprises.


(To be continued) 🙂

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